It's the beginning of a new year and I find myself
in a new country - my fiancé's native Mexico!
Our stay here is planned to be temporary, but whether that means two months or two years remains to be seen. Things are brewing (I will keep you posted)...
Until I know more, though, I want to see and experience as much as I can while I'm here. In this post, I'll list some of my observations about Mexico so far. As there are bound to be a lot of things to talk about, I'll make this a two-part series.
So. Without further ado, let's get to it:
Whatever deep-rooted mother issues Mexicans have, they seem to be reflected in the lingo. Here's an example: one super commonly used phrase that's very specific to Mexican Spanish is "Que padre." The literal meaning of this phrase is "How father," and it basically means "How cool!" Now, the interesting part is that the opposite of que padre is que madre, which translates to "How mother" and means something like "How bad" or "Such bad luck" (I'm sure Freud would have a field day over this).
Que madre is, however, by no means the only time "mother" makes a questionable appearance in Mexican Spanish. In fact, the word madre ("mother") can also be equivalent to
a) crap ("Que es esta madre?" = "What is this crap?"),
b) pain ("Me parti la madre" = "I hurt myself"),
c) worthlessness ("Me vale madres" = "It's worth nothing to me"),
and it even works as a single curse word all by itself ("Madres!" = *expletive*)!
Seriously, Mexicans! Who hurt you?
In addition to these examples, I've noticed that the attitude towards mothers can sometimes present itself in more subtle ways: Let's say there are two brothers (who share a mother) that are having a conversation (this is a totally hypothetical situation, by the way). At some point Brother A says to Brother B: "So guess what your mother (tu madre) said to me yesterday." Brother A then proceeds to explain what his mother said, and Brother B says, with a sigh, "Well, you know how your mother (tu madre) gets sometimes."
Excuse me, but does it seem odd to anybody else that nobody wants to take ownership of poor mother here? Wouldn't you say, "our mother" or just "Mom" instead of "your mother" since you are, after all, brothers from the same mother? By saying "your mother" it almost seems like you're trying to pass the blame. To be fair to mothers, though, it appears that all mutual family members get the same treatment (e.g. "Your uncle said...," "Your sister said...," Your cousin said...," etc.). However, when you try to point out this oddity to a Mexican, s/he finds it perfectly normal and cannot fathom how you could ever see anything strange in it.
Whatever makes Mexicans think that you cannot have the pleasure of sugar without the pain of chili pepper is one of the great mysteries of life. Everywhere you go in this country you find candy that's covered with chili powder or some other spicy surprise.
To be fair, as a Finn, I'm used to odd candy flavors, such as salmiakki (sort of like salted licorice) that the rest of the world (minus the Dutch) seems to abhor. However, Mexican candy is some serious next level stuff!!
Just look at these pictures above. Somewhere under that thick layer of chili powder, there is an innocent piece of mango or watermelon-flavored candy that just wants to be loved. You can't see it, though - you just have to trust that it's there.
I'll admit there's something almost symbolic (Symbolic or masochistic? Quien sabe) about having to first struggle through the chili powder before you finally get to the sweet prize. But despite this beautiful metaphor of life, personally (and as a product of the culture of instant gratification), I'd just rather get the pleasure without the pain, please. Is that really too much to ask?
A few days ago, as I was pondering on these deep deep thoughts out loud, my fiancé looked at me, shook his head, disappointed, and told me almost defensively, "Come on, not ALL the candy here is spicy."
Yes, honey, you're right. They're not all spicy. And to prove your point, in the picture below, I've circled ALL the candy options at a Mexican convenience store that are NOT spicy. See if you can find them:
So, to put it in other words: While not ALL candy in Mexico is spicy, could we just agree that the vast majority is?
Ladies and gentlemen, you've been lied to. Remember those movies where that poor unsuspecting small-town girl goes to Mexico for spring break and has her first experience with a shot of tequila, salt, and lime? Remember when you did the same in your country and were convinced this is the way Mexicans do it?
Lies, lies, all lies!
While it's possible that some touristic places in Mexico still encourage this illusion, the sad truth is that tequila is not "shot," but rather sipped slowly like, say, whiskey. Moreover, it's not uncommon to wash the drink down with something called sangrita, which is basically semi-spicy tomato juice (kind of like alcohol-free Bloody Mary) and designed to cleanse your palate. Sangre actually means blood, and its diminutive sangrita is like its cute cousin (it translates to "little blood," though the word "little" doesn't do much to make the idea of drinking blood any more appetizing to me.)
So, while we're at it, let's burst another tequila bubble, too: The tequila that you have in your hometown (unless you live in Mexico) is probably NOT tequila (PLOT TWIST!!). The real stuff could originally only come from a town called Tequila - hence the name (although later the rules have relaxed a bit).
Here's a hot tip: if your tequila bottle doesn't read "100% agave," it's not what it's claiming to be. I'm not saying that it can't be drinkable alcohol, but tequila it is not (or so I've been instructed).
On my second week in Mexico, my sister-in-law gave me this great tip : "Only plan to do one thing a day in Mexico City. That way you won't frustrate yourself if you are not able to cross things off of your to-do list.
What she was talking about was of course the city's traffic, which is not for the faint of heart. Mexico City is famously the most traffic-congested city in the world. However, each day and each hour (and each minute) is different. Driving a short distance can either take ten minutes or two hours. You never know what kind of cards you'll be dealt on any given day, which - I suppose - keeps things interesting.
So, when you make plans to meet a friend at, say, your favorite café, do yourself and them a favor and leave for your destination wayyyyyyyyyy ahead of time. This way you won't be late. Of course, there's a chance your friend might not be as far-sighted as you, so one way or another, you might still end up in a holding pattern.
If you, like me, are used to European supermarket tortillas the size of a human head, the first time you're served authentic Mexican tacos you might feel like you've been cheated (especially if you only ordered one single taco, you poor soul). That, or that you've just entered a parallel dimension where they only serve miniature food.
But these tacos that you see in the picture above represent, in fact, normal-sized tacos in Mexico. Because of the reduced size, you might have to adjust the way you fold them up (I've written a post about this topic, which you can read here) but regardless of the size, the taste is great and, in my opinion, real Mexican tacos are quite simply the best food in the world!
And that's all for now! I'll leave the rest for PART II and if there's interest, I might go for a PART III, as well. We'll see. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this post! If you have questions or comments, you can e-mail me, tweet me, or use the comment section below! 😊
Adiós!
Our stay here is planned to be temporary, but whether that means two months or two years remains to be seen. Things are brewing (I will keep you posted)...
Until I know more, though, I want to see and experience as much as I can while I'm here. In this post, I'll list some of my observations about Mexico so far. As there are bound to be a lot of things to talk about, I'll make this a two-part series.
So. Without further ado, let's get to it:
Observation 1: Padre good, madre bad
Whatever deep-rooted mother issues Mexicans have, they seem to be reflected in the lingo. Here's an example: one super commonly used phrase that's very specific to Mexican Spanish is "Que padre." The literal meaning of this phrase is "How father," and it basically means "How cool!" Now, the interesting part is that the opposite of que padre is que madre, which translates to "How mother" and means something like "How bad" or "Such bad luck" (I'm sure Freud would have a field day over this).
Que madre is, however, by no means the only time "mother" makes a questionable appearance in Mexican Spanish. In fact, the word madre ("mother") can also be equivalent to
a) crap ("Que es esta madre?" = "What is this crap?"),
b) pain ("Me parti la madre" = "I hurt myself"),
c) worthlessness ("Me vale madres" = "It's worth nothing to me"),
and it even works as a single curse word all by itself ("Madres!" = *expletive*)!
Seriously, Mexicans! Who hurt you?
In addition to these examples, I've noticed that the attitude towards mothers can sometimes present itself in more subtle ways: Let's say there are two brothers (who share a mother) that are having a conversation (this is a totally hypothetical situation, by the way). At some point Brother A says to Brother B: "So guess what your mother (tu madre) said to me yesterday." Brother A then proceeds to explain what his mother said, and Brother B says, with a sigh, "Well, you know how your mother (tu madre) gets sometimes."
Excuse me, but does it seem odd to anybody else that nobody wants to take ownership of poor mother here? Wouldn't you say, "our mother" or just "Mom" instead of "your mother" since you are, after all, brothers from the same mother? By saying "your mother" it almost seems like you're trying to pass the blame. To be fair to mothers, though, it appears that all mutual family members get the same treatment (e.g. "Your uncle said...," "Your sister said...," Your cousin said...," etc.). However, when you try to point out this oddity to a Mexican, s/he finds it perfectly normal and cannot fathom how you could ever see anything strange in it.
Observation 2: It's a sweet trap!
Whatever makes Mexicans think that you cannot have the pleasure of sugar without the pain of chili pepper is one of the great mysteries of life. Everywhere you go in this country you find candy that's covered with chili powder or some other spicy surprise.
To be fair, as a Finn, I'm used to odd candy flavors, such as salmiakki (sort of like salted licorice) that the rest of the world (minus the Dutch) seems to abhor. However, Mexican candy is some serious next level stuff!!
 |
| Just one question: Why? |
 |
| I repeat: Why? |
Just look at these pictures above. Somewhere under that thick layer of chili powder, there is an innocent piece of mango or watermelon-flavored candy that just wants to be loved. You can't see it, though - you just have to trust that it's there.
I'll admit there's something almost symbolic (Symbolic or masochistic? Quien sabe) about having to first struggle through the chili powder before you finally get to the sweet prize. But despite this beautiful metaphor of life, personally (and as a product of the culture of instant gratification), I'd just rather get the pleasure without the pain, please. Is that really too much to ask?
A few days ago, as I was pondering on these deep deep thoughts out loud, my fiancé looked at me, shook his head, disappointed, and told me almost defensively, "Come on, not ALL the candy here is spicy."
Yes, honey, you're right. They're not all spicy. And to prove your point, in the picture below, I've circled ALL the candy options at a Mexican convenience store that are NOT spicy. See if you can find them:
 |
| Where's non-spicy Waldo? |
So, to put it in other words: While not ALL candy in Mexico is spicy, could we just agree that the vast majority is?
Observation 3: You've been drinking tequila all wrong
Ladies and gentlemen, you've been lied to. Remember those movies where that poor unsuspecting small-town girl goes to Mexico for spring break and has her first experience with a shot of tequila, salt, and lime? Remember when you did the same in your country and were convinced this is the way Mexicans do it?
Lies, lies, all lies!
While it's possible that some touristic places in Mexico still encourage this illusion, the sad truth is that tequila is not "shot," but rather sipped slowly like, say, whiskey. Moreover, it's not uncommon to wash the drink down with something called sangrita, which is basically semi-spicy tomato juice (kind of like alcohol-free Bloody Mary) and designed to cleanse your palate. Sangre actually means blood, and its diminutive sangrita is like its cute cousin (it translates to "little blood," though the word "little" doesn't do much to make the idea of drinking blood any more appetizing to me.)
 |
| Glass of tequila on the left, sangrita on the right. Lime optional. |
So, while we're at it, let's burst another tequila bubble, too: The tequila that you have in your hometown (unless you live in Mexico) is probably NOT tequila (PLOT TWIST!!). The real stuff could originally only come from a town called Tequila - hence the name (although later the rules have relaxed a bit).
Here's a hot tip: if your tequila bottle doesn't read "100% agave," it's not what it's claiming to be. I'm not saying that it can't be drinkable alcohol, but tequila it is not (or so I've been instructed).
 |
| The real deal |
Observation 4: Driving is like a box of chocolates
On my second week in Mexico, my sister-in-law gave me this great tip : "Only plan to do one thing a day in Mexico City. That way you won't frustrate yourself if you are not able to cross things off of your to-do list.
What she was talking about was of course the city's traffic, which is not for the faint of heart. Mexico City is famously the most traffic-congested city in the world. However, each day and each hour (and each minute) is different. Driving a short distance can either take ten minutes or two hours. You never know what kind of cards you'll be dealt on any given day, which - I suppose - keeps things interesting.
 |
| This could be your view for an undetermined time period |
So, when you make plans to meet a friend at, say, your favorite café, do yourself and them a favor and leave for your destination wayyyyyyyyyy ahead of time. This way you won't be late. Of course, there's a chance your friend might not be as far-sighted as you, so one way or another, you might still end up in a holding pattern.
Observation 5: Half of your taco is missing
If you, like me, are used to European supermarket tortillas the size of a human head, the first time you're served authentic Mexican tacos you might feel like you've been cheated (especially if you only ordered one single taco, you poor soul). That, or that you've just entered a parallel dimension where they only serve miniature food.
 |
| Hello mini-tacos (al pastor)! |
But these tacos that you see in the picture above represent, in fact, normal-sized tacos in Mexico. Because of the reduced size, you might have to adjust the way you fold them up (I've written a post about this topic, which you can read here) but regardless of the size, the taste is great and, in my opinion, real Mexican tacos are quite simply the best food in the world!
Closing words
And that's all for now! I'll leave the rest for PART II and if there's interest, I might go for a PART III, as well. We'll see. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this post! If you have questions or comments, you can e-mail me, tweet me, or use the comment section below! 😊
Adiós!
lovely
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rob :)!!
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