Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Finnish Food - Threat or Possibility?





Moi, everyone 😊!

Last time in the blog I talked about what places to see in Helsinki, Finland, if you're only spending 24 hours in the capital city. This time, as promised, I'll delve into the fascinating world of Finnish food... well, sort of. Rather than actual dishes, I want to talk about the food items that I miss the most from my home country, and - lucky for you - they're all things that you can (and should) try if/when you visit Finland!


So, without further ado, let's get started!


Ruisleipä


O Brother. If there's one thing I miss from Finland besides family and friends, it's ruisleipä!

Ruisleipä translates to [advance announcement: this story will have a happy ending so just bear with me here] "rye bread!"

[cue the sad trombone]

Yes, I do realize that when you hear the words "rye bread," the first thing that springs to mind might not exactly be "Let's party like it's 1999," but ruisleipä is so much more than just bread: it's breakfast, lunch, and dinner all rolled into one, it's that rare combination of healthy and delicious, it's happiness in a bite... And, for us Finns living abroad, it's basically a religion.

Now, while you might have had something called "rye bread" in your country, I can assure you the Finnish ruisleipä is in a league of its own. The easy way you can tell it apart from its less worthy counterparts is by your post-first-bite reaction. If you go, "OMG! My whole life before this has been nothing but a lie! All the rest of the bread in the world is forever ruined for me!", you, my friend, have just sunk your teeth into the Muhammad Ali of all breads - ruisleipä.

If your reaction is anything less than that, either a) you are not eating ruisleipä but one of the wannabes (probably that weird wet bread with seeds), b) there's something seriously wrong with you, or c) you're my fiancé, who's reaction after his first bite of ruisleipä was a rather disappointing "It's nice." 🤦

Recently, though, his "It's nice" has been upgraded to "It's really nice," but I cannot completely rule out the possibility that my constant scowling at him while he's consuming this Finnish national treasure hasn't been partly responsible for that change of opinion.

Jälkiuunileipä - the best type of ruisleipä (no, I'm not being paid to say that)

Now, when you're a Finn living abroad and you're used to having to basically sell your kidney and sacrifice a virgin to get your hands on ruisleipä, it can feel a bit anticlimactic to come to Finland for a vacay and realize that you can just buy this Holy Grail of breads at any supermarket for less than two euros a bag 😲!

The supermarkets usually have a pretty good selection of different types of ruisleipä, and even though you cannot go wrong with any of them, the objectively best choice is the so-called jälkiuunileipä (see picture above), which is a tougher son of a b-word than the other types. That's very practical especially if you live abroad and someone sends you a care package from Finland (bless them!), because the bread doesn't go particularly bad - it just gets even tougher, just like a real Finn 💪!

However, as any superhero, ruisleipä too has it's kryptonite; even though it can find its way to you by air, land, and/or sea, the one thing this tough son of a b-word cannot survive is the feared and revered Mexican postal service. Considering that I get Christmas cards sent to me from Finland to Mexico in March, any ruisleipä that's sent to you to Mexico will have died of old age by the time it reaches you 👴.


Karelian pie (karjalanpiirakka)


Karelian pie is another food item I really miss. It's a traditional pasty from the region of Karelia with a crispy rye crust and a rice filling (oh dear, I'm getting withdrawal symptoms just by describing it to you).


Karelian pies (obviously)


There are two ways you can get your hands on this delicacy: you can make it (I've heard an urban tale that someone in the world has actually successfully managed that) but when I visit Finland, I just buy mine at the supermarket (Go on, person in that glass house - cast the first stone! I dare you.)

Karelian pies go great with munavoi, "eggbutter," which is.. well... egg mixed with butter (hence the unoriginal name), but there are other options to suit different diets as well, which I'm sure are equally delicious.

Finnish candy


Let's begin with a little anecdote. Years ago I was living in Luxembourg, where I was doing an internship. One day I had a conversation with a colleague of mine from a Southern European country (let's call her "Judy" to protect the innocent) that went something like this:

Me: "Hey, Judy! Do you know if the supermarkets are still open? I need to buy some candy."

Judy: "Candy? For yourself?"

Me: "Yes, for myself."

Judy: "Ah. You know, I liked candy once, too. And then I turned 8."


Touché, Judy! Touché!

In one short conversation, Judy not only managed to mock me but also be completely unresponsive! However, what she didn't realize is that the sad lady in this story is not Yours Truly but, in fact, Judy herself (plot twist!).

In Finland, a lot of people eat candy all the way into adulthood and beyond for one simple reason:

Candy in Finland is freaking awesome!!! (←yes, three exclamation points were warranted here)

Every since we're children, we're indoctrinated to the idea of something called lauantaipussi, "Saturday bag," which is basically a bag of candy that we buy every Saturday (as you can see, we're not big on pushing the creative envelope when it comes to naming things). When you get older, you'd think that you'd start eating less candy but actually the opposite happens. The bag that was once called a "Saturday bag" miraculously multiplies into a Sunday bag (because, of course, the last day of the weekend needs to be celebrated with candy), as well as a Monday bag (the week just started, so obviously you need to console yourself with candy), a Tuesday bag (it's a commonly known fact that Tuesday is the hardest day of the week; consolation - i.e. candy - is needed), a Wednesday bag (Wednesday is "the little Saturday" - it's time to celebrate i.e. eat candy), a Thursday bag (repeat of the "week is long and hard" excuse), and a Friday bag (the long work week is over at last - you deserve some candy), until you finally stop pretending, drop any and all references to weekdays and just call it "my candy fix of the day."

Also, it's a (more or less) scientifically proven fact that Finnish chocolate is one of the best chocolates in the world! If you don't believe me, you can read my previous post about how Finnish chocolate fared against the allegedly best chocolate in the world - Belgian chocolate.

Warning!

If you're a non-Finn visiting a Finnish friend, one thing that will happen with 100 percent certainty is that your host will try to feed you a type of candy called salmiakki. Now, to be clear, I for one have nothing against salmiakki - au contraire, I love it! But it does require an acquired taste, and I'm sorry to tell you, my friend, that unless you're a Finn or a Dutch, you will not have acquired it yet.

The sad truth behind why your host is offering you salmiakki in the first place is not out of the goodness of their heart, but to satisfy their own sick pleasure of seeing you gag. Don't fall for it! If you see a Finn is approaching you with black candy, either start evasive maneuvers immediately or embrace your adventurous spirit and go for it - but don't say I didn't warn you!

Salmiakki comes in many forms, including alcohol and ice cream (as in the photo)


Closing words


And there you have it! If you're a Finn living abroad, I'd be interested to know which food items (if any) you miss from home.

Also, if you want to know more about these or other types of Finnish food, I'm more than happy to share my wisdom 😊.


Comic Relief of the Day: This picture was taken in Finland. I thought that I was finally going to go to a Starbucks where they would know how to spell my name.
I thought wrong 😜

So, until next time...

moi moi!



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