Finnish Food - Threat or Possibility?

Moi, everyone 😊!

Last time in the blog I talked about what places to see in Helsinki, Finland, if you're only spending 24 hours in the capital city. This time, as promised, I'll delve into the fascinating world of Finnish food... well, sort of. Rather than actual dishes, I want to talk about the food items that I miss the most from my home country, and - lucky for you - they're all things that you can (and should) try if/when you visit Finland!

So, without further ado, let's get started!

Ruisleipä

O Brother. If there's one thing I miss from Finland besides family and friends, it's ruisleipä!

Ruisleipä translates to [advance announcement: this story will have a happy ending so just bear with me here] "rye bread!"

[cue the sad trombone]

Yes, I do realize that when you hear the words "rye bread," the first thing that springs to mind might not exactly be "Let's party like it's 1999," but ruisleipä is so much more than just bread: it's breakfast, lunch, and dinner all rolled into one, it's that rare combination of healthy and delicious, it's happiness in a bite... And, for us Finns living abroad, it's basically a religion.

Now, while you might have had something called "rye bread" in your country, I can assure you the Finnish ruisleipä is in a league of its own. The easy way you can tell it apart from its less worthy counterparts is by your post-first-bite reaction. If you go, "OMG! My whole life before this has been nothing but a lie! All the rest of the bread in the world is forever ruined for me!", you, my friend, have just sunk your teeth into the Muhammad Ali of all breads - ruisleipä.

If your reaction is anything less than that, either a) you are not eating ruisleipä but one of the wannabes (probably that weird wet bread with seeds), b) there's something seriously wrong with you, or c) you're my fiancé, who's reaction after his first bite of ruisleipä was a rather disappointing "It's nice." 🤦

Recently, though, his "It's nice" has been upgraded to "It's really nice," but I cannot completely rule out the possibility that my constant scowling at him while he's consuming this Finnish national treasure hasn't been partly responsible for that change of opinion.

Jälkiuunileipä - the best type of ruisleipä (no, I'm not being paid to say that)

Now, when you're a Finn living abroad and you're used to having to basically sell your kidney and sacrifice a virgin to get your hands on ruisleipä, it can feel a bit anticlimactic to come to Finland for a vacay and realize that you can just buy this Holy Grail of breads at any supermarket for less than two euros a bag 😲!

The supermarkets usually have a pretty good selection of different types of ruisleipä, and even though you cannot go wrong with any of them, the objectively best choice is the so-called jälkiuunileipä (see picture above), which is a tougher son of a b-word than the other types. That's very practical especially if you live abroad and someone sends you a care package from Finland (bless them!), because the bread doesn't go particularly bad - it just gets even tougher, just like a real Finn 💪!

However, as any superhero, ruisleipä too has it's kryptonite; even though it can find its way to you by air, land, and/or sea, the one thing this tough son of a b-word cannot survive is the feared and revered Mexican postal service. Considering that I get Christmas cards sent to me from Finland to Mexico in March, any ruisleipä that's sent to you to Mexico will have died of old age by the time it reaches you 👴.

Karelian pie (karjalanpiirakka)

Karelian pie is another food item I really miss. It's a traditional pasty from the region of Karelia with a crispy rye crust and a rice filling (oh dear, I'm getting withdrawal symptoms just by describing it to you).

Karelian pies (obviously)

There are two ways you can get your hands on this delicacy: you can make it (I've heard an urban tale that someone in the world has actually successfully managed that) but when I visit Finland, I just buy mine at the supermarket (Go on, person in that glass house - cast the first stone! I dare you.)

Karelian pies go great with munavoi, "eggbutter," which is.. well... egg mixed with butter (hence the unoriginal name), but there are other options to suit different diets as well, which I'm sure are equally delicious.

Finnish candy

Let's begin with a little anecdote. Years ago I was living in Luxembourg, where I was doing an internship. One day I had a conversation with a colleague of mine from a Southern European country (let's call her "Judy" to protect the innocent) that went something like this:

Me: "Hey, Judy! Do you know if the supermarkets are still open? I need to buy some candy."

Judy: "Candy? For yourself?"

Me: "Yes, for myself."

Judy: "Ah. You know, I liked candy once, too. And then I turned 8."


Touché, Judy! Touché!

In one short conversation, Judy not only managed to mock me but also be completely unresponsive! However, what she didn't realize is that the sad lady in this story is not Yours Truly but, in fact, Judy herself (plot twist!).

In Finland, a lot of people eat candy all the way into adulthood and beyond for one simple reason:

Candy in Finland is freaking awesome!!! (←yes, three exclamation points were warranted here)

Every since we're children, we're indoctrinated to the idea of something called lauantaipussi, "Saturday bag," which is basically a bag of candy that we buy every Saturday (as you can see, we're not big on pushing the creative envelope when it comes to naming things). When you get older, you'd think that you'd start eating less candy but actually the opposite happens. The bag that was once called a "Saturday bag" miraculously multiplies into a Sunday bag (because, of course, the last day of the weekend needs to be celebrated with candy), as well as a Monday bag (the week just started, so obviously you need to console yourself with candy), a Tuesday bag (it's a commonly known fact that Tuesday is the hardest day of the week; consolation - i.e. candy - is needed), a Wednesday bag (Wednesday is "the little Saturday" - it's time to celebrate i.e. eat candy), a Thursday bag (repeat of the "week is long and hard" excuse), and a Friday bag (the long work week is over at last - you deserve some candy), until you finally stop pretending, drop any and all references to weekdays and just call it "my candy fix of the day."

Also, it's a (more or less) scientifically proven fact that Finnish chocolate is one of the best chocolates in the world! If you don't believe me, you can read my previous post about how Finnish chocolate fared against the allegedly best chocolate in the world - Belgian chocolate.

Warning!

If you're a non-Finn visiting a Finnish friend, one thing that will happen with 100 percent certainty is that your host will try to feed you a type of candy called salmiakki. Now, to be clear, I for one have nothing against salmiakki - au contraire, I love it! But it does require an acquired taste, and I'm sorry to tell you, my friend, that unless you're a Finn or a Dutch, you will not have acquired it yet.

The sad truth behind why your host is offering you salmiakki in the first place is not out of the goodness of their heart, but to satisfy their own sick pleasure of seeing you gag. Don't fall for it! If you see a Finn is approaching you with black candy, either start evasive maneuvers immediately or embrace your adventurous spirit and go for it - but don't say I didn't warn you!

Salmiakki comes in many forms, including alcohol and ice cream (as in the photo)

Closing words

And there you have it! If you're a Finn living abroad, I'd be interested to know which food items (if any) you miss from home.

Also, if you want to know more about these or other types of Finnish food, I'm more than happy to share my wisdom 😊.

Comic Relief of the Day: This picture was taken in Finland. I thought that I was finally going to go to a Starbucks where they would know how to spell my name.
I thought wrong 😜

So, until next time...

moi moi!

A Day as a Tourist in My Own City (Helsinki, Finland)

A few months ago, my non-Finnish friends, who were planning to travel to Finland, asked me about tips and things to do in Helsinki, thinking that, as a Finn, I might have some amazing insight.

I had to really think about it. I haven't lived in the country for seven years, and, as much as I would like to think that everything has stayed the same, it hasn't. In seven years, my hometown has changed quite a bit.

That's why, during my travels to Finland a couple of weeks ago, I made it my mission to explore the capital city through the eyes of a tourist and make a list of things you can do in Helsinki in one day.

So, friends, based on my recent explorations, here are places I would visit if I had a chance to spend 24 hours in Helsinki as a tourist:

Kauppatori - Market Square

For me, a girl born and raised in Helsinki, the best part of the capital city has always been (and probably will always be) the Market Square (Kauppatori). Located in the center of Helsinki only a ten-minute walk from the Central Railway Station, the Market Square is a place where you can buy Finnish (and non-Finnish) berries, vegetables, and different pastries, such as lihapiirakka (meat pie) and munkkipossu (a type of doughnut with apple jam inside), as well as local arts and crafts like reindeer skin gloves and reindeer hides (basically anything reindeer) and other things.

The Market Square is not exactly a "hidden gem," as it's probably featured in most - if not all - Helsinki travel guide books and blogs. But although it does get its fair share of tourists, the market also attracts locals. It's a nice place just to walk around and take in the atmosphere, but if you get a chance, I do recommend trying Finnish strawberries and peas, which, in my humble opinion, just happen to be the best in the world (I'm obviously completely unbiased).

However, as with everything in life, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. The bad in this case are the flocks of Hitchcockian seagulls flying around ominously, lustfully eyeing your food! If you're a bird phobe, the Market Square is unfortunately not a place for you. And if you're not a bird phobe, well, you just wait, as this place will turn you into one.

To be fair, most of the seagulls just fly low, screech, and sometimes poo on people, but there is always the occasional type A personality - or the poetic, misunderstood soul that decides that now is as good time as any to start asserting itself - that'll go straight for your food. During my explorations, I saw a young lady lose a battle with a seagull over a cinnamon roll, so if you do decide to eat or take out your food at the Market Square, I suggest you hold onto it for dear life and don't count your munkkipossus until you've safely exited the seagull zone. Also, if you are approached by one of these go-getter type seagulls, you are supposed to clap your hands together twice to shoo them away. I don't exactly know if that helps or not, but at least it's entertaining to everyone around you.

The seagull problem is well-recognized at the Market Square and the measures taken against it include (but are not limited to) a net...

Arrow in turquoise: the net
Red circle: the enemy

...and a bunch of fake black birds.

However, my guess is the seagulls have figured out long ago that the black birds are fake (at least they didn't seem to slow them down), and many of them just fly under the net, sooooo.... yeah. I imagine there's a lot of laughing and pointing at humans happening at the annual seagull conventions. 

Allas Sea Pool

My first time experiencing Allas Sea Pool was during my latest travels a couple of weeks ago.The place has been open for a few years now, but, for whatever reason, I haven't gotten around to visiting it before now.

Allas Sea Pool is situated near the Market Square by the harbor basin that the locals have given the inviting name Cholera Basin (some historical thing... don't ask!). For 14 euros, you get to swim in the pools, experience a Finnish sauna, and soak in the sun in one of the sun chairs (that is, when the sun actually bothers to make an appearance). If you don't want to buy a ticket, however, you can still enjoy the Allas Sea Pool restaurant, café, bar, and terraces.

As for the swimming pools, you've got three options:

If you want to prove that you've got as much sisu (perseverance, guts, stamina, etc.) as us Finns - who are more or less famously known for being tough sons of b-words -, you can dip into the seawater pool which is the same temperature as the Cholera Basin (a.k.a freaking cold!) as it comes from a nearby clean stream and is filtered for contaminants. And if you really want to prove what a bad-ass you are, the perfect time to go for a swim in the seawater pool is in the middle of January as Allas Sea Pool is open all year round (pictures or it didn't happen)!

You'll recognize the seawater pool by the beautiful murky greenish-brownish color of the water

For those of us who have nothing to prove (me) or who hate cold water (also me), the best pool option is the warm water pool (a.k.a the sensible person's choice), which, according to the website is heated to 27°C/80.5°F. There's also a kiddie pool for those who have (or are) children. Obviously, you don't get the bragging rights by swimming in these pools, but you also don't get a cold and maybe you even get to enjoy the water, which, in my opinion, is kind of worth it 😏.

The warm water pool and the kiddie pool

After you've swum in the water (whichever pool you choose depending on your level of bad-assery/sensibility), you have the option to experience a Finnish sauna. Full disclosure: I didn't try the Allas Sea Pool sauna(s) during my visit, so I can't say if I recommend them or not, but I will say this: you will never get the full Finnish experience unless you go to a Finnish sauna!

We Finns take our saunas very seriously. A sauna for a Finn is a sacred place, where we solve personal and worldly problems, do business, celebrate/commiserate, or just relax. Traditionally, Finns go to the sauna stark naked. Yup, that's right - no swimsuits, no towels, nada, zip. A Finn sees nothing weird about this, and if somebody points out, "Really? You're too shy to say 'hello' to a person who's lived next door to you for the past five years, but you're comfortable sitting naked in a sauna next to a complete stranger who's also naked?" they'll most likely be met with a blank stare.

However.

As Allas Sea Pool gets a lot of international visitors, you can wear a swimsuit or a towel in the women's and men's sauna if you want to (but don't have to), whereas in the mixed-gender sauna, wearing a swimsuit is actually a requirement!

Also: although in a traditional Finnish sauna, you might see Finns gently (or less gently) beat themselves or each other with a bunch of tree twigs called a sauna whisk (if you hadn't gathered it by now, we're masochists), unfortunately (or fortunately), this practice is forbidden at Allas Sea Pool.

Right behind Allas Sea Pool, there's a Ferris wheel (SkyWheel Helsinki), which you can ride if you want to end your Helsinki experience on a high (very proud of this pun, by the way)

Other stuff to do

If you're spending more than 24 hours in Helsinki (or you're a more energetic person than I am), here's some more stuff you might want to check out:

1. Suomenlinna

Whilst you're at the Market Square, you can take a ferry to the Fortress of Suomenlinna. Suomenlinna is a beautiful and historically interesting place with ruins, museums, and other cool stuff. It's also a nice place to have a picnic. However, I would plan to spend more than just a couple of hours there because otherwise you might miss out on stuff to see and experience. If you're interested, you can read more about Suomenlinna on their official website.

2. Cruises

Another thing you can do is take one of the Helsinki archipelago cruises. Some of these cruises serve food and drinks. There are several options out there, but as my last experience dates back to 2010, I encourage you to do your own research. Also, if you have been on one of these cruises, please do share your experience in the comment section below 😊!

3. Korkeasaari & Linnanmäki

If you're traveling with your kids (or if you yourself are a kid at heart), you might want to consider visiting Korkeasaari Zoo or the amusement park Linnanmäki. Linnanmäki is actually one of my favorite places in Helsinki but, unfortunately, nowadays it's quite pricey.

Closing words

So, there you have it! If you have more/other suggestions or comments that could help the people planning to visit Helsinki, I would really appreciate it if you could share your wisdom in the comment section below 😊.

Next time, I'll be talking about what you should (and shouldn't) eat on your trip to Helsinki as, in my opinion, Finnish food gets a bad rap for nothing (and even if it didn't, you gotta eat, don't you 😏?)!

So, until then...

...moi moi!

The One Where Kata and Fiancé Find a New Rental Apartment in Mexico City

Oh, what a couple of weeks it has been! You might or might not have heard that because of forest fires, pollution, and the fact that Mexico City is located in a valley, the air quality got so bad around mid-May here in the city that a national emergency was declared, schools were closed, tens of thousands of cars were ordered off the streets, and people were encouraged to stay indoors (oh yeah, that small thing). On top of that, the Popocatepetl volcano decided that now was the opportune moment to start spewing ash (hey, no time like the present, eh?), which didn't exactly help the situation.

This picture was supposed to be a demonstration of Popocatepetl spewing its guts out, until Fiancé pointed out that that's probably not Popocatepetl, but just some mountain with smoke behind it. So, now it's just a nice picture to look at (SANS Popocatepetl) with a pointless circle drawn on it.

In the midst of all this craziness, though, something almost as crazy happened (even crazier than having to spell the word Popocatepetl five times in one blog post): Fiancé and I managed to find ourselves a new rental apartment and, last Friday, we finally signed the contract! What's more, the air quality has improved since too and Finland won the ice hockey world championship, so, hooray, happy days!

So. Inspired by our experience of finding a new home in CDMX, I decided that I'd now like to share some of the wisdom I gained along the way. Below you'll find a few useful tips for looking for a rental apartment in Mexico City. Stick around until the end and I'll reveal a couple of details about our new apartment, too!

Don't get scammed!

The first rule of finding a rental apartment anywhere (not just in Mexico City) is to not get scammed! Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to believe in the basic decency of humankind, there seem to be some people out there who don't always have your best interest at heart (What? Shocker).

It's a commonly known fact that when looking for an apartment, you should ask yourself at least the following four questions:

1. Do the pictures of the apartment look like straight out of a Hallmark movie or, better yet, an episode of MTV Cribs (by the way, you 20-somethings, does that show still exist or am I just super old?)?
2. Has your request to go see the apartment been denied (with or without a note attached to an airborne brick that says "Don't ask questions")?
3. If you google the apartment or the name of your landlord/real estate agent, does the word "SCAM" with a gazillion exclamation points (along with a couple of pictures of skulls) pop up?
4. Have the words "Nigerian prince" been mentioned?

A double red flag

If your answer to any of these questions is YES, then chances are you're being scammed. If your answer to ALL of these questions is NO, then there's only a fifty-fifty chance you're being scammed (hey, I never promised a foolproof plan!).

Perhaps a better way to make sure that if you are, in fact, being scammed, the only thing that gets hurt in the process is your ego (and not your bank account, for instance) is to follow this list of very simple dos and dont's:

DON'T

• pay any deposits, first month's rent, insurance, etc. before your and your landlord's or landlady's name is on that dotted line

• give up your current apartment until you have a contract (in case the deal falls through at the last minute)

DO

• go see the apartment beforehand and make sure everything is in order there

• ask a copy of the previous tenant's last water, gas, and electricity bill to make sure you're not being charged for more than you're consuming

These might seem like pretty basic things, but you'd be surprised about how many people out there have been too trusting and ended up getting burned - and that is a club you don't want to join!

(By the way, if you have more - and better - tips, please do share in the comment section!)

Location, location, location...

One of the most commonly asked questions on different CDMX expat forums is "What is the best area to live in Mexico City?" Well, as it turns out, this is actually not an easy question to answer because an ideal location for one person might be less ideal for another.

The "trendy areas" of the city (also favored by expats) are, for instance, Condesa, Roma Norte, and Polanco. Especially the first two have a lot of cute restaurants, cafés, bars, and nightlife nearby. The prices of rents might be a bit higher than elsewhere in the city (especially Polanco is quite pricey), unless you know where to look. In fact, I've heard that because of the 2018 movie Roma, it's now harder than before to find a reasonably-priced apartment in the Roma Norte area (not sure if this is just an urban real estate legend, though).

Roma in living color 😉

In my opinion, it's also wise to consider where you work. As mentioned in a previous post, the traffic in Mexico City is an absolute killer! If you use four hours of your day commuting (two hours each way, and I exaggerate not at all!), the chances are that the commute will suck the fun out of living in a trendy neighborhood pretty fast!

Would you like to spend hours and hours on end every day staring at THIS view? Would you, would you, would you?

Sometimes you have to make a choice between living in a trendy area and keeping your commute time to a minimum. My fiancé and I chose the latter, but there are no right or wrong answers, of course. It comes down to what you value more (but don't say I didn't warn you 😉).

Papers, papers, papers

Oh, Lordy. This was the most frustrating part of this whole process. I've lived in rental apartments in five different countries in my life and never have I been asked for more papers than in Mexico City! And not only is it enough that you as the tenant gather up your documents. You also have to kindly ask your fiador/aval (the person who will vouch for you) to go through their piles and piles of paper, find stuff that nobody has just lying around (like a marriage certificate acquired several decades ago), and somehow come out of that experience in one piece (no small feat, this one).

The documents that were asked of us were (among others):

1. basic information form (filled out)
2. official ID
3. bank statement from the past 3 months (you need to prove you have more than three months' rent on your account)
4. proof of salary
5. those gazillions of papers required from the fiador/aval

As mentioned before, the fiador or aval is a person who is willing to vouch for you. This person is doing you a favor out of the goodness of their heart and getting nothing in return (expect never-ending pestering about those damn papers). The bad news for expats (and out-of-towners) is that a fiador/aval cannot be just any old person off the streets. It has to be a person who owns property in the same city where you want to rent the apartment, so if you want to live in Mexico City and you know someone who owns property in Monterrey, you're out of luck.

Nevertheless, I have heard that there are other ways of going about this (such as getting a specific insurance), but it appears to be very case-dependent.

Safety

Right. So. I have pretty conflicted feelings about this topic. So much so, in fact, that I wasn't sure I was even going to write about it. First of all, I don't want to encourage anybody to live in fear. I've lived in enough places to know that anything - good or bad - can happen to anyone at any time anywhere.

However.

It is wise to recognize that Mexico City is a big city (the biggest in the world, in fact) with big city problems. While I have personally never been afraid for my safety here (then again, I've only been here for about six months, so I guess I still have time), I wouldn't encourage anybody to take unnecessary risks either. Going to a dark alley alone at 11 pm to take pictures for your scrapbook, for example, is one of those things that - in my opinion - would constitute an unnecessary risk.

I think it would be a good idea to ask around and do your research about which neighborhoods are safe and which ones are less so. Of course, people can have differing opinions about this, but the more you do your research, the better the chances you'll find the best neighborhood for your needs. Some buildings also promise 24-hour security.

Also, bear in mind, that it's not only crime that you need to be worried about. There are other fun things that can get you, too, for example, earthquakes and the volcano (yayyy... wait, what?)! And to add insult to injury, Mexico City is built on a lake, so the capital is (get this) slowly sinking (gulp). Because of the lake, even faraway earthquakes are felt strongly here (wait, why did I move here again?).

Instructions on what to do in case of earthquakes (sismos). I like the last picture (where the guy is running away) the best.

In case of an earthquake, some parts of the city can be more affected than others. Again, I encourage you to do your research!

Our checklist

So. After not getting scammed, choosing the right (and safe) location for us, and gathering up tons and tons of documents, what kind of a place did we end up getting?

Well, long story short, I'm happy to say that our apartment checks all the important boxes for us. Here's what we wanted:

Our home is not in any of these buildings, by the way 😜

✅close to work
✅safe neighborhood
✅half-furnished

✅fridge (surprisingly many apartments we saw didn't have a fridge!)
✅Starbucks nearby (before you judge, let me just say that I'm a writer, so I need my place to write, drink coffee - Starbucks coffee, not "real" coffee -, and stare wistfully out the window)
✅washer-dryer
✅grocery store nearby (actually, turns out that people order their food online these days, so this wasn't as important as we'd thought)
✅gym or a park nearby for running (otherwise we won't make the effort)
❌dishwasher (didn't get this one - nobody's perfect, I guess)

So, there you have it, our new home in a nutshell!

Closing words

That's all, folks! A special thank-you to Paty who has given us a great place to stay 💖! Myself, my fiancé and all eight of our children will be moving to our new apartment in the next few days!

The kiddos are excited to move!

So. Until next time...

... hasta luego 😊!

Blog of the Month!!!!

Wooohooooo! I'm super excited to announce that my blog "Kata Writes" is Expat.com's blog of the month 😃! If you're interested in knowing more about my background and how this blog came to be, you can read my interview here!

If you're an expat but not familiar with Expat.com yet, I warmly recommend that you check it out (FYI, nobody told me or paid me to say this - I just happen to like the site). Expat.com is great for finding practical information (tips, blogs, discussions, etc.) about your new country and possibly bonding with other people in the same situation as you. As far as I can tell, most countries in the world are included, so chances are you'll find yours on the site as well!

As for me and my blog, new posts are in the works and will be published shortly! Until then, friends, hasta luego 😊!

Kata Writes Turns One!!

Oh, what a proud mama I am! Today is the day my little Kata Writes blog graduates from an infant to a toddler 😍! Just one short year ago, I started my blogging journey, and in these past twelve months, my little blog baby has gone from cute to petulant, made some moderate-sized waves (in the kiddie pool, that is), won a few battles with HTML, lost a few others, and changed its country of residence from Belgium to Mexico! What a year!

Now, to celebrate my one-year-old Kata Writes, I would like to present my TOP 5 most read posts of the past twelve months (starting from the fifth)! I also talk a little bit about the writing process of these blog posts, the inspiration behind them, and how they were received by you the readers. Regrettably, not all my personal favorites made it to the list (a few of them did, however), but I'm happy that several different topics are represented in this TOP 5.

So, now, without further ado, let's get to it. I hope you enjoy 😊!

5. Lazy Tourist

Lazy Tourist is a blog post I wrote last summer that recounts the story of that one time I went to Bonn, Germany, miraculously managed to avoid all the major to-do's there, took a picture of the wrong Beethoven statue (a.k.a not-a-Beethoven statue), and ate and ate and ate until I could eat no more. It's also the post where I make my big confession: I'm a despicably lazy tourist who'd rather lie on the beach and do nothing than have my itinerary full of various dynamic activities (yes, I'm that person).

To be honest, I expected outraged crowds from left and right to be reaching for their proverbial and not-so-proverbial stones after this shameful confession, but lo and behold, turns out I'm not quite the rare little butterfly I thought I was. Surprisingly many people have come to me after the publication of this post and expressed that they, too, are lazy tourists 😲. Oh, it's always nice to know you're not alone in this world 💖!

So, if you'd like to learn more about my lazy tourist tendencies, you can read my blog post here.

4. Random Things to Know about Liège, Belgium

This blog post was inspired by one sad (but true) story about the city where I was residing at the time - Liège, Belgium. The story goes something like this:

Once upon a time, not so long ago, a young bright-eyed and bushy-tailed girl went to a tourist information center in Liège to ask about the best things to do in the city:

Her: So, what is a girl to do in this charming little town?
Person Who Worked There: You could go dancing at a night club.
Her: Err...well, I'm not much of a party girl, really.
Person Who Worked There: Oh. Well, then I'm out of ideas.

THE END.

Knowing this was not an urban legend (it happened to a friend #NoI'mNotThatFriend #HonestlyI'mNot), the bleakness of this horrific tale haunted me for so long that, eventually, I set out to prove this tourist information center assistant wrong and wrote a blog post about random facts to know about Liège. And I'm glad I did because it turns out there's plenty to do in Liège! Like... ummm... well... I mean... for example...err... well, there's... ummm...

Just kidding.

Have you ever visited a town where you can attend a fake-burial of a bone (literally, no innuendo here), try some dangerously innocent-looking peket shots, attend festivals left and right, have to use an accent to order churros, and actually acknowledge the existence of strangers by saying 'hello' to them 😲 (true story)? Well, I, for one, hadn't before moving to Liège, and I loved writing this post because reflecting on the fun things about my then-city made me appreciate it in a new way. And there's certainly a lot to appreciate!

3. The Anatomy of A Cheek Kiss - The Subjective and Incomplete Guide to Kissing Air

Despite its name (which is quite a mouthful, I know), this post was an unexpected hit! Out of all my posts, I think this is the one I've gotten the most feedback on, as a lot of people have been eager to share their own experiences with the subject matter.

As the title suggests, this blog post sheds some light on different aspects of the feared and revered practice of cheek kissing - How many? Which side? What is the most optimal technique? Things to avoid? - you know, all of the things that a non-native cheek-kisser living in a cheek-kissing country has undoubtedly had to ponder on once or twice. In this post, I also share my personal biggest cheek-kissing mishap - a memory that still today (many years later) occasionally sends me looking for a suitable rock to crawl under and stay forevermore.

It should be stated, however, that even though aspects of this post could be seen as informative, this is, as the titles states, a subjective and incomplete guide, so taking any of its suggestions as gospel might prove a bad idea!

2. The Art of Taco Diapering (a.k.a How to Annoy a Mexican Fiancé)

I love all my blog babies, but I have to admit that this one is my personal favorite! I originally wrote it from the safe haven of my then-home in Belgium, naively thinking I could mess with the Mexican national treasure - the tacos - and suggest some tweaks to the taco-eating practice without ever having to face the wrath of Mexicans for the simple fact that geographically speaking it was very unlikely. But then, as it happens, karma got me, and we actually ended up moving to Mexico (oops) where I'm now suffering the consequences of this post as everyone who's read it is watching my taco-diapering like a hawk. Now, if you're interested to know what this post is all about, you can read it here, but please be aware that this amazing (and, in my opinion, the best ever) taco-eating technique does not get the Mexican stamp of approval 😜!

1. The Chocolate Showdown

This post is important to me for various reasons, and not least because it was my very first blog post ever (posted exactly one year ago)! Being the first might also explain why it's my most read post (in fact, it has double the views compared to my fifth place runner-up Lazy Tourist), but as it's also my most shared post, I feel that I must have done something right with this one!

The Chocolate Showdown is basically about my attempt to prove that Finnish chocolate is better than Belgian chocolate (yep, I just went there), by using the most cutting-edge scientific method (chocolate tasting!) and the help of a varied bunch of test subjects (36 people of 16 different nationalities).

So. Was my hypothesis right? Is Finnish chocolate actually superior to Belgian chocolate? Hm, well, obviously I can't tell you that - you'll have to read the post to find out 😏!

Closing words

That's all, folks!

If you've been with me from the get-go, thank you for sticking around! And if you are new to this blog, welcome! Lots more fun blog posts are in the works (and lots more remain to be written), so stay tuned!

So, until next time, friends! And now, once more, cheers to the one-year-old Kata Writes 🎉🎉🎉!!

"Learn That Stupid Chant" and Other Lessons of Soccer

On my fourth week in Mexico City, I went to see a soccer* match at the soccer stadium.

Now, if you don't know me, this statement probably didn't seem all that remarkable, but if you do know me, well, I imagine that you might have just fallen off your chair, spit out your tea (see, in my mind, you're a sophisticated tea-drinker), or at the very least started questioning the meaning of life.

In case I wasn't clear, let's just say I'm not exactly a fan of soccer. Don't get me wrong, it's not so much that I have something against this specific sport, but rather, I have something against all sports.

With soccer, though, my biggest problem is this: the field is too damn big! Now, if you're a soccer fan, this "field is too damn big" theory probably makes no sense whatsoever, but if you are not a fan, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

See, as a non-fan, when it comes to watching sports, I have the attention span of a squirrel. This means that if the distance between point A and point B is too long, then by the time the ball gets to its destination, I've already forgotten about everything that happened in-between - either that, or grown a mad-professor-sized beard.

So, how did I of all people end up going to a soccer game? Well, I feel that when you're in a foreign country, it's important to try to experience it the way locals do, and, as far as I can tell, Mexicans LOVE soccer. Usually, if you go out to eat, there's a soccer match on TV. One day we went to a restaurant, where they were serving a particular Belgian beer. My fiancé pointed out to the waiter that that's actually a pretty cheap beer in Belgium (at this restaurant it was not) and said that he knew this because we had lived in Belgium for three years. The waiter seemed excited about this revelation and then said, "Me gusta la seleccion belga" ("I like the Belgian selection") and my fiancé said, "Si. Los Diablos Rojos" ("Yes. The Red Devils"), and even though I don't know anything about soccer, I knew right then and there that we had now officially stopped talking about beer.

So, in the spirit of "When in Rome," when I was invited to go watch a game at the soccer stadium, I said, "Sure, why not." I know, I know. This is a classic pearls-before-swine sort of a situation (me being the non-soccer-loving swine in this scenario, obviously), and I promise I feel very badly about that, but apparently not badly enough to decline this kind invitation.

The First Half

I went to the game with this sole (non-soccer-related) goal in mind: Blend in and do NOT look like an idiot! See, as an expat, every day you face obstacles where the potential of you looking like an idiot is unusually high, so, instinctively, you start avoiding these kinds of situations. For example, whenever I'm at, say, a Starbucks and start approaching a door with the text Jale or Empuje printed on it, I hesitate as I try to recall which one means "Push" and which one means "Pull," because we all know that a person who pulls a door when it should be pushed is the kind of stuff that Internet memes are made of.

So. With the intention of keeping the idiot-o-meter as low as possible on the day of the soccer game, I made sure I was prepared. First of all, I wore black, figuring it was a pretty safe choice (turned out I was right). Second of all, as soon as we got settled in our seats, I asked my fiancé these two simple questions:
1) which color jerseys are we supporting, and
2) which one of the goals do we want the ball to go into?

I was told that 1) we are supporting white jerseys and 2) we want the ball to go into the goal on the left. LEFT, I said (this point will become important as the story advances)!

But as soon as I got these little details out of the way, I was ready to start enjoying the game. And - to my surprise - enjoy I did! It was a particularly beautiful day, not too cold or hot but pleasant, and we had a clear view of the field. My fiancé got me a torta de cochinita pibil (a type of pulled pork sandwich), the crowd was cheering (not at the sandwich, unfortunately, even though it was totally cheer-worthy), and, on the right, the opposing team was surrounded by guards, protecting them.

For appropriate fan behavior, I just followed the masses. So, the first time "our guys" scored a goal and everybody stood up, I stood up with them. When the same phenomenon repeated itself, however, I realized there was a pattern:

Me: *snaps fingers* Oh! I get it! When there's a goal, we all stand up!
Fiancé: Yes, honey. We're celebrating the goal.
Me: I see.
[a short silence]
Me: Sooooo, how long until we can sit back down?
Fiancé: *a long stare*

Despite this promising beginning, though, it didn't take long before there was trouble on the horizon: We were about half an hour into the game when, out of the blue, the people around me started - get this - chanting. And not only was the crowd chanting, but Fiancé next to me was chanting, too (J'accuse 😠)! As I felt my idiot-o-meter needle dangerously approach the red zone, I turned to Fiancé:

Me: What? There's a chant? I wasn't told about a chant! Also, how do you know this chant?
Fiancé: *shrugs* Passive knowledge.
Me: *feeling peer-pressured to chant* Quick! Teach it to me!
Fiancé: Sure! It goes, "Go ya, go ya. *Gibberish-gibberish-gibberish-gibberish-gibberish-gibberish* Universidad!"
[a stunned silence]
Me: Seriously?! Chants are supposed to be simple! That's why they are chants, for God's sake.
Fiancé: It is simple. Listen, "Go ya, go ya-
Me: Forget it.

But even though this was a setback to the plan, help was on the way as Fiancé pointed out that the lyrics to the chant were displayed on the screen, and they would appear whenever it was time to start shouting. I celebrated this good news for about ten minutes until another chant-related problem surfaced:

Our guys scored another goal and chanting ensued. I glanced at the screen but there were no lyrics. Frantically, I tapped Fiancé - who was chanting with the others (the traitor!) - on the shoulder and pointed at the blank screen:

Me: Hello? Why are you chanting? There are no lyrics! You're not supposed to chant!
Fiancé: This is spontaneous chanting, dear.

What? Spontaneous chanting? Who's the sadist who thought of that one?! Let the record show that I'm vehemently against spontaneous chanting as it makes me look like an idiot. An idiot or a supporter of the opposing team, which is not great either.

But then, before I had time to protest, it was half-time.

The Second Half

The unfortunate chanting incident aside, I thought I'd managed the first half of the game pretty well, and after the break, I was ready to start anew.

The second half didn't seem to offer too many plot twists; Grown men chasing a ball, trying to score goals. So pretty standard stuff, I thought (foolishly), until something strange happened:

The ball was kicked into the goal on the left (this is not the strange part yet). Now, proud to apply my previously acquired knowledge (i.e. a goal = standing up), I lifted my derrière a few inches up from my chair until I noticed that the rest of the crowd were still seated. Confused, I sat back down and turned to my fiancé a.k.a my best source of soccer knowledge (which is not exactly saying much - sorry, hon) :

Me: *whispering* Hey, we made a goal! Why aren't we standing?
Fiancé: *looking embarrassed* It was the other team.
Me: No. It was the goal on the left. The left-hand goal is where we want the ball to go, remember?
Fiancé: They swapped sides.

What? Swapped sides? When did that happen? I'd asked my fiancé two very simple questions: Which color are we supporting and where do we want the ball to go. And now one of the pillars of what was supposed to make me not look like an idiot was crumbling down at an alarming rate. Now, I'm not a complete dummy. I have heard that the teams swap sides at some point, but apparently, coupled with my attention span of a squirrel, I'd completely missed when this had taken place.

Luckily, it wasn't long after this incident that we decided to leave the stadium to avoid rush hour. I let out a breath of relief and patted myself on the back for having managed to keep my pride more or less intact (well, hanging by a thread).

But little did I know that it wasn't over yet.

After the game

Just a few weeks after the game, my fiancé and I attended a seminar at the university of UNAM, the biggest university in Latin America. We were sitting in the audience, listening to an excellent speaker, and after she finished, we all got up on our feet and applauded.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly, until suddenly, something unthinkable happened.

Almost as if taken over by an evil spirit, the crowd started collectively shouting and punching their fists in the air. It only took me one second of horror to realize what was happening:

The audience was spontaneously chanting that goddamn soccer chant 😲(because the soccer team we'd been supporting had been the university team)!

I tried to look at Fiancé for help, but he was too busy chanting his heart out, too (Et tu, Fiancé?). As stated, I was on my feet and, to make matters worse, I was wearing heels (Why, God? Why?), so, feeling like half a meter taller than the people around me, there was nowhere to hide. I was too shocked to even try to lip sync, and the only thing running through my mind was my earnest wish to be swallowed by the 100-year-old academic floorboards. Also - because apparently no refusal to learn the soccer chant goes unpunished - there was a video camera in my face, filming audience reactions (lovely).

So, now, every night when I lay myself to bed, I have to fall asleep knowing that somewhere out there there's somebody with video material of me doing the very thing I've tried all this time very hard NOT to do:

looking like an idiot.

Oh well, I suppose no one can avoid their destiny, and mine seems to be becoming an Internet meme. So, if there's a moral to this story, it's this: The soccer gods are vengeful. If you're a non-fan going to a soccer match, for the love of God, learn that stupid chant!

* I know that soccer is called 'football' in this part of the world, but for the sake of my American readers, I've used the word 'soccer' throughout the post so as to avoid confusion.

The Finn's First Impressions of ¡México! (PART II)

Last time I started a series about my first impression of Mexico (you can read PART I here). This is the second part of that series and, this time, I'm going to talk more about Mexican food.

So, here goes:

Observation 6: Your life has never been spicier

If you like spicy food, Mexico is the place for you! Every meal (including breakfast) is likely a spicy one, as are lots of candies, chips, and what-have-yous in the country (more about that in PART I). Basically, it seems Mexicans can't eat anything without breathing fire!

Breakfast eggs with red salsa and corn tortillas

However, it's important to remember that Mexican spicy is not global spicy. Mexican spicy is another level! If you live in, say, Northern Europe and in your local restaurant you always order that one meal that's described on the menu with three whole chili pepper icons (wow), congratulations - that's the starting level in Mexico.

Also, the spiciness scale in Mexico is not from one chili pepper to three chili peppers. It's from "Wow, this is spicy," and "Help, my mouth is on fire!" and "Water! Water! Wait...why is this getting worse?" and "Are you insane?!?" all the way to "Joven? Dónde está el baño, por favor?"

The spiciness scale at El Farolito taqueria

So. If you're planning to eat in an authentic Mexican restaurant, here are a few pro tips that might come in handy:

a) It's inadvisable to ask the waiter, "Is this meal spicy?" They'll just tell you it's not, although by your standards, it probably is. Rather, you should ask, "Tiene chile?" ("Does it have peppers?"). That way you'll have some idea whether or not you can handle it.

b) If you are served a spicy sauce, for Heaven's sake, try it a little before you drench your whole meal in it! Remember, it's always easier to add more spices than try to scrape them off of your food that's already soaked them up like a vindictive spicy sponge.

c) The so-called Moctezuma's revenge (traveler's diarrhea) is not caused by spices but rather by bacteria in the water to which the locals have developed immunity but you have not (NB! I strongly urge you to research what you should and shouldn't consume before visiting Mexico). However, before you decide to order your habanero on habanero meal, please know your stomach and how it reacts to spices. And if you have a particularly sensitive stomach, don't try to be a hero (you'll regret it later)!

d) If you fail a and/or b (do NOT fail c!) but you want to avoid being laughed at by the locals (because laugh they will), first take a deep breath because this is going to be no walk in the park (I bet you wish you were at a park right now). Then just go for it. Take teeny tiny bites of your food (don't eat too fast), have rice water (horchata) if available (if not, tortillas), and when your Mexican friend asks you with that infuriatingly knowing grin on his/her face, "Sooo... how is it?" play it cool, nod, smile (as much as you can without making a weird face that might give away your rookieness), and say, "It's delicious, thanks so much." You don't need to finish all of your food but take at least a few bites (so as not to look suspicious) before you claim to be full. You can do it, I believe in you (you can cry later).

Observation 7: Tacos come in many different forms

If you are lucky enough to know Mexican people, then you know that there's one thing you can never ever ever ever do in their presence: blurt out how much you enjoy hard-shell tacos (for the record, I don't!). If you do that, well... all I can say is I hope you're a fast runner because staying where you are would be a very, very bad idea (I exaggerate only ever-so-slightly).

However, turns out there is a loophole to that rule: flautas!

You guessed it - flautas

Flautas a.k.a tacos dorados are basically filled tortillas that are fried crispy. Now, to a non-Mexican, it may seem that they meet the two main criteria of a hard-shell taco because a) they are tacos and b) they have a hard shell. And yet, Mexicans act as if flautas and hard-shell tacos were two completely different things, and, if you are smart, you'll play along.

However, everybody's allowed their occasional moments of non-smartness, aren't they? So, one day, when I was feeling particularly not smart, I decided to live on the edge and ask my fiancé this potentially fatal question, "Sooooo, honey? How are flautas different from hard-shell tacos again?"

But instead of getting defensive or upset, my fiancé just gave me a pitying glance and then looked up, as if trying to figure out how to explain bees and birds to a six-year-old. Finally, he said, "Because... they are just different."

[a moment of deafening silence]

Unsurprisingly, as charming as this response was, it did little to answer my question (like, at all). So, I kept on pestering, until finally Fiancé offered this response: "Well, it's like the difference between watching a Marvel movie in IMAX vs. watching a Spider-Man impersonator at a kids' party."

Okay. Whatever that means, I have no clue, but I'm guessing hard-shell tacos are NOT that Marvel movie in this analogy. However, I found there's another way to explain the difference between flautas and hard-shell tacos: flautas are rolled tacos, whereas hard-shell tacos are... well, I don't know what they are, but rolled they are not.

There are also other things that look like tacos but are not called tacos (such as enchiladas and quesadillas), but more about them another time.

Observation 8: Beer is not beer

Having lived in Belgium for three years, I thought I knew pretty much everything there was to know about beer. After all, Belgium is not only famous for its beer but also has a vast variety of options. Surely, I'd tried every type of beer worth trying by now... right?

Turns out I was wrong. Once again, Mexicans have managed to take another food (well, drink) item and spice it up (both figuratively and literally).

Let's begin with the inconvenient truth: Mexican beer by itself is nothing special (sorry, Mexicans). According to my fiancé, it's something cold you drink on a very hot day, but Belgian beer it is not.

However.

If you want to experience beer like you've never experienced it before, you should try something called a michelada. Just as a taco, a michelada can come in many different forms: at its simplest, it's just a beer with lime juice and salt, but it's not unusual to add peppers and/or some sauce - e.g. soy sauce, Worcester sauce, Clamato (clam + tomato juice), or Maggi sauce - into the mix as well.

Now, if you want to fully step into the dark side, I warmly recommend my (so far) favorite michelada place in Mexico City - Michelas (just to be clear, I'm not being paid anything to recommend their business)!

My michelada on the left, Fiancé's on the right

Michelas (situated in Condesa) is a bar where you make your own michelada (NB! The following description is based on the "full michelada experience," which is a bit more expensive than the simpler option): First you dip your cup into chili or tamarind syrup so that the rim gets sticky. Then, you dip it into one of the (Miguelito-type) candy powder options available. After that, you can pour more powder (either sweet or spicy) into your cup along with different juices such as lime juice. Then you proceed to the candy part - there's about a dozen different types to choose from, for example tamarind sticks and gummy bears as demonstrated in the picture above. Finally, your cup will be filled to the brim with the beer of your choice (I believe there are three different ones to choose from).

And there you have it! Now, I'm aware this all may sound kind of weird, but I still urge you not to knock it 'till you try it. You might be pleasantly surprised!

Observation 9: Jesus truly does appear in food (in 3D)

While Christians everywhere are waiting for Jesus Christ's second coming, Jesus himself seems to have taken a liking to appearing in various food items around the world (I'm sure we've all read the news about Jesus's face appearing in a loaf of bread, chai tea latte, mozzarella cheese, and what-have-you). However, in Mexico, Jesus's food appearances seem particularly frequent, but in a different way. It looks like Mexicans have taken it upon themselves (probably aware of Jesus's busy "food appearance" schedule) to make sure that cake-lovers everywhere in the country have an equal opportunity to find Jesus. This they've ensured by inserting a plastic baby Jesus in each rosca de reyes. 

If you've never heard of rosca de reyes before, suffice it to say it's a cake (or sweet bread) eaten as part of the Three Kings' Day celebration (January 6th). According to tradition, whoever finds Jesus has to throw a tamale party in February.

Where art thou, Jesus?

Intrigued by this tradition, I decided to try my hand at finding Jesus in my mother-in-law's rosca de reyes. Before I started, though, I needed to get a few facts straight:

Q: Is it possible to accidentally cut baby Jesus in half with a knife?
A: No. Baby Jesus is very resilient (plastic).

Q: Is it possible to accidentally eat baby Jesus?
A: No. Baby Jesus is actually less of a baby Jesus and more of a toddler Jesus (google images). That's why, if you eat him, you'll notice.

Q: Is it possible to choke on baby Jesus?
A: Again, the answer is no. However, I wouldn't introduce baby Jesus to children under the age of three.

Now, when trying to find baby Jesus in rosca de reyes, you have to a) ask thyself, "Where would Jesus go?" b) cut the cake accordingly, and c) keep cutting and eating the cake until you find him.

Unfortunately, I only had one piece and didn't find Jesus.

Sadly, this piece was not worthy of Jesus

I was just about to accept defeat, when my fiancé shouted, "Look, you got it!" (Apparently, if Jesus sticks out of either one of the parts that you cut, you can claim to have found him.) And before I knew it, Fiancé was poking Jesus with a knife to get him out 😲! However, it soon turned out not to be Jesus after all, but a piece of walnut (I know. The two are so easily confused).

Sadly, after that one try, my mother-in-law took the cake to her office, so my chances of finding Jesus this year were lost. Oh well... something to look forward to in 2020, I guess.

Closing Words

And there you have it! I hope you enjoyed the read (you can let me know what you thought in the comments). There's more than enough material for a longer series here, so let me know if you'd like to read more about my observations on Mexico :). Until then...

Hasta luego!